Sensitive topic warning. This blog talks about domestic violence, suicide, trauma, and the care system. On the 18th February 2025, one of my best friends for many years, Emma, died by suicide. Today, sixteen months later, I received a call to arrange a meeting with an independent investigator, for them to hear from me aboutContinue reading "The Women We Lose"

"Without the foundations...it's like building on sand" How do we measure success in life? The money in the bank? The days we feel happy over sad? The people we have around us? The qualifications we achieve... or is it something different? Is it when we achieve a level of stability and safety, that means whenContinue reading "Building Safety without Stability… an impossible task, or stepping into BRAVE baby steps of the unknown?"

Returning to blog life after 11 years, with a special one... 15 years ago, my step dad Kirk passed away from cancer. Today I am remembering him, reflecting on the loss of him, and the trauma and change that still deeply impacts my brother and me today. A short two weeks after I had receivedContinue reading "Kinship care and Trauma – Remembering Kirk Lightfoot ✨"

What is family?The question is one that isn’t easy to answer. One which is made more complex if you have care experience. One thing I have learnt as I get older, and am more involved in networking, and working with other care lavers is the importance of my ‘Care Family’. A family that includes people I haveContinue reading "Care Leaver Family"

This blog was originally written for Camden Local Authority Participation team and published on their Children in Care website 'BackChat'  http://www.backchatonline.org.uk/blogs/my-voice/blog_articles/180-it-s-like-your-life-is-like-a-box-of-cornflakes  When a child succeeds in life, generally there is a parent or carer behind them giving them support and motivation to succeed. Care experienced young people cannot rely on this same positive input, why?Continue reading "The positive impact of a meaningful relationship with your After Care worker"

I was recently given a room, a space that was mine, whenever I want it, to decorate, to escape to.. My room. I am not homeless.. I have a house to live in, but my room is not there.  After spending the weekend with members of my chosen family, and had been working through myContinue reading "The power of a room"

For a moment think of the people who you find inspirational. You may find them inspirational for a number of reasons; - they have a great talent  - they have done great things  - they have achieved things you wouldn't and couldn't expect  This list could be quite endless, if it were to include everyContinue reading "Finding inspiration in yourself- A guide to self compassion not selfishness"

Dear little scavenger girl, You tiny little thing, your hair so blonde and fluffy, your face so smiley.. but why are your eyes dark, your skin so dank, your hair so thin, your nails to brittle... When did you last eat? When was your last meal? Is this why you travel across town to otherContinue reading "Little scavenger – Self compassionate letter to the neglected hungry me (as a child)"

Its a new year 2015 (now closer to 2030 than 2000... am I the only one that feels really old reading that?) New Years are some of the best times to start something new, or make major changes. Maybe this year you wish to have a more positive life, and to do that you mightContinue reading "New Year Changes – Recognising a negative relationship"

Recovery from mental health illness.I wrote this list last week, when I was feeling overwhelmed by my mental heal illness. I had a lot of positive response to them. So I wish to share them with you, so you are able to use them if you are finding it difficult to just simply gain understandingContinue reading "Things to remember when in recovery of depression"